i'm not ready but let's do it anyway

I’m not ready, but let’s do it anyway!

I’ve just watched a movie that made me realize a lot of things in my life.

I want to do so many things but I never do it. It’s like with this blog, there are so many things I’ve been wanting to do, I have lots of articles written but still in the draft status because I feel like it’s not perfect. It’s never perfect and I’m so scared of being seen as mediocre I end up never publishing anything. English is not my first language and I’m clumsy so I can make stupid mistakes when I write. I’m scared of being criticized for that so again, I never publish anything.

 

Draft screenshot

There are so many reasons and so many excuses not to do what I want to do and I want to stop doing that.

I want to accept that It’s okay not to be perfect. It’s okay even if I’m not a successful career woman right now at age 24, it doesn’t mean I will stay like this for the rest of my life.

I can be mediocre now but work on it and keep improving. I want to feel inspired and do all these things I want to do but never do because I tell myself it’s impossible.

Example: I always look up jobs and always end up closing all the tabs because I never feel up to the task.

I kinda had disastrous professional experiences until now so I’m always wary whenever I have to look for a job. It’s funny how one bad experience can make you feel like you’re less than nothing.

 

Another example: I have to start my driving lessons but I’m so stressed out by this, I keep on postponing. It’s been 3 weeks now and every day I keep telling myself “it’s okay, I’ll call tomorrow and make an appointment for my first lesson”. AND GUESS WHAT? I never do it cause I always feel like I’m not ready. Truth is, I’ll probably never be ready so I might as well do it anyway.

 

I’m not ready but I’ll just start applying to all the jobs I want, even if I feel I can’t do it. Worse case, I’ll learn something about the job and about myself and I’ll just move on to something else. Right?

Well, actually it’s not that simple, I’ve worked a job I hated and every day I felt like I was losing my soul. I’m not even kidding, I was going to bed and waking up with this awful feeling, like my life was meaningless and I wish I could stop existing. It’s a bit depressing, isn’t it? That’s what a bad job can do to you.

So yeah, I want to believe that eventually, the experiences will be less disastrous and I’ll finally become good at something and love what I do. This time I don’t want to feel sick about my job everyday. I want to do whatever I feel like doing without thinking about people’s opinion because, you know, I have a master’s degree but I’m doing a “low job” by their standards!

Maybe after doing all sorts of jobs, I’ll finally find myself. I might find whatever it is I feel that’s lacking in my life right now. Maybe I’ll find my life purpose.

 

Despite what society and people around me try to make me think: there are no rules in life, my life is my own, I can do whatever I want and from now that’s exactly what I’ll do.

I’m gonna do things my way, we’ll see where that will take me!

See you in an article soon I hope, let’s find strength and work on this blog of mine~ Share your tips to stay inspired in the comments ! 

 

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I'm not ready but let's do it anyway

 

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