How to deal with the lack of support when you’re a female traveller

Hi there fellow female traveller! Welcome to my blog! Do you have time for a little chat? Because today I want to talk about something that touches me and chances are, it might concern you as well!

It doesn’t matter if you are young and you’ve recently graduated college or if you are a grown up with a job. If you love travelling and want to make it your lifestyle I’m pretty sure you have had to deal with people who just don’t support you.

I think it happens even more often if you’re a female traveller! Sometimes it’s just a comment like “Why do you travel so much?” or it can be something like “You should just get a real job and settle!”. I had to deal with it and I want to talk about it today.

 

henry miller quote

 

I am a 23 years old girl and I have no clue what to do with my life. At least, that’s the impression I give, because I want to travel, learn new languages and do lots of different things. I also want to learn more about  digital marketing and I work hard on my own for that. But people don’t see that. They only see the surface. The thing is, I want to do so many things, it’s even hard to explain sometimes. For example, I’d love to learn Korean in South Korea, but go tell that to my mom !

I could never explain people what I want to do with my life because I’m not meant to do a traditional job. By that, I mean that I’m not meant to be a teacher or a public servant. Unfortunately, for most of the people around me that seem like the only kind of jobs on Earth.

Let me explain !

Today there are so many new jobs, even more so since social media developed. I’m not saying any of the jobs I mentioned are bad, not at all, I’m just saying it’s not for me, at least not for now! Maybe in a year or two I’ll change my mind, who knows?

What do I want to do then?

So many things!

I had the chance to move around in the past year and I loved it! I even got to visit the beautiful place that inspired Beauty and the Beast! Nice one, right? Well, I want to keep moving around for now…

 

Here’s a picture of me in Ireland! I’ve lived there for a year and it was the best year of my life!

 

I had an opportunity to work in a private English school in Estonia for 2 months for example and I really wanted to do it. However, my family disapproved of my decision for a reason that I still don’t understand. They told me that it was “useless” and “a waste of time and money”.

I was so excited when I got this opportunity!  It just seemed so amazing in my eyes. I mean, work in Estonia for 2 months… How many people do you know who have been to Estonia? How many have actually lived and worked there?
I had never paid much attention to Estonia before that but the thought of discovering a new culture and staying in the country more than a few days seemed incredible to me!

The thing is, I also wanted to get more professional experience, even if it was just working at a school! I did 5 years at uni and I have always been told how important it is to have work experience! Even working at a shop or at a Burger King during summer matter! I still remember last year when one of my teachers who had worked more than 10 years in Human Resources told me very brutally that I should be “worried because of my lack of experience“. Do I need to tell you how depressed I was because of that?

My point is, I want to grab every opportunity to work but also discover the world!

 

 

I have found an opportunity to work in Vietnam for one year and I’m gonna apply! I don’t know if they’ll take me, it’s a very serious job in an university and I have very little experience but I want to try! I’m not gonna stop and settle just because people want me to, I think that no one has the right to tell me how I should live my life. Isn’t my life in the first place?

In 20,30 or 40 years who is gonna regret settling down because of other people’s opinion? That would be me, not you. You will probably be very content with your life in 20 years. What if I fall into depression later because I am not satisfied with my life and feel regretful? What will you do ? Will you fix it for me?

No, because in the end it is not your life.

What stroke me while I was debating all this for the past weeks is that people my age were encouraging me! All the people from uni told me that this opportunity was incredible and that it was definitely a good idea!

So is this because of the generation gap?

It seemed like it at first but the thing is, I also received an incredible amount of support from people older than me. I have joined a Facebook group dedicated to female travel bloggers and I received such a big amount of support from them, I was incredibly touched by this!

People who had experience lack of support from family or friends. People who are around 30 and tell me: “Don’t listen to them, this is your life, I fell into depression because I didn’t listen to my needs and wishes.”

These women are told by their close relatives that they should “settle and invest in property instead”. How funny is that? Why do you people feel the need to judge other’s life? If you are happy with your life, then fine! If you can’t find in you even the smallest amount of support, OK. Then please just let people live for god sake!

 If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all!

 

So how to deal with the lack of support when you’re a female traveller?

A lot of people struggle with this, especially people my age who don’t know what they want but still want the world. But you know what? After thinking about this for days and days my conclusion is the same: it’s our lives. If we don’t do it now, then when?

It’s cheesy but it’s true: you only live once. Same with our youth. As Eleanor Roosevelt said:

Today is the oldest you’ve ever been, and the youngest you’ll ever be again.”

 

The best way to overcome this is to surrender yourself with people who share the same interest as you. For example, as I mentioned,  I joined Facebook groups for female travellers and I’ve found an incredibly supporting community that really encourages me to do what I want! You should do the same! Find a group of people who understand you and love the same thing as you!

You can also use the website Meet Up to meet with people who share the same interests as you! Don’t stick to negativity and meet people who will always cheer you when you work toward your dreams~

I’m still struggling a lot with this because i’m constantly reminded how I should be like my friends who are getting a job and building a house. However, I just can’t force myself to do something I am not interested in, that’s the reality. I’ll find something that I’m meant to do, I still have faith!

Any other way to fight this ? Let me know by commenting!

 

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how to deal with the lack of support when you're a female traveller

 

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